Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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