We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
