That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
