she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No subtext here. People are naked.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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