Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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