he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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