i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dignity is for republicans.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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