So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
