please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
