you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
