East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
