try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
