How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Found the puke drawer
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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