david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I did not marry a roomba.
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