Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He did a backflip because drugs
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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