Someone shit on the floor
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
