***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
