My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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