farters have to be the big spoon...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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