Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
