Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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