It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize