I need help removing her.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
