God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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