Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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