Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Drake has all the answers
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
