? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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