I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
