I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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