This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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