Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
