she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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