is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
