I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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