I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize