you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
