Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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