Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
