Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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