that's an acceptable place to lick
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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