wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
