Buhtt sex?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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