Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
