Kiss
Puke
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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