we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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