He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
