Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
