woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've blown a few things in my day
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
