i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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