I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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