if you like me you must not know who I am
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
