So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
