I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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