She is in my trunk
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
