If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
