I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
