I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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